CHAPTER FOUR : BITTERSWEET ENDING?
Fragments of 2011 and 2012:
The airing of WGM season 3 was a huge success and KS was a part of it. From her pairing up with LT in this Show, their friendship blossomed and led to a romance that they thought would last forever. After WGM, they were often seen together at first by supporting each other in their respective gigs. Eventually though, there were lots of fan accounts stating that they were seen dating either in groups or just the two of them. This was sort of the “honeymoon” period for the two as the bond that they formed from WGM filming was still fresh and it seemed that they could not stand the thought of being apart from each other. Yes, there were a lot of sweet, tender moments but they had to work and thus became busy with their respective crafts. KS had a successful launching of her new Hollywood stint Brave, Her new Drama The Best Lee Soon-Shin was also a success. Aside from these, the two got busy also with several commercial ads but still managed to keep spots in their schedules open for quality time spending together. Having hectic schedules though, they would even see each other in the wee hours of dawn and avoided crowded places.
By Korean show business standards, it is taboo for idols and celebrities to disclose if they are in a relationship. Back then, LT and KS protected each other by not admitting the real score between the two of them. People were just contented with the thought that they were indeed a couple even without a formal acknowledgement from the two. LT was the most protective one because he knew that KS was just declared the hottest and promising actress after WGM’s huge success. Their virtual marriage catapulted KS to her celebrity status and with this came throngs of fans mostly young girls & boys who’s hitting adulthood, she become more popular that some celebrity & well-known personalities wants to date her, of course in their wildest dreams. However,prior to LT’s status being one of the popular leader and idol, these fan girls were very important to LT’s career and KS understood that she had to be kept inside the closet as the real girlfriend.
A year passed by, the relationship was constantly put to test. LT got apparently entangled with Jisu. However, he turned around quickly and patched things up with KS in Taiwan and they started on a clean slate. In between drama making and cfs,KS granted interviews and held fan meets. It was a roller coaster ride for Teukso shippers because in some of these events, it was obvious that LT adored KS on one hand but showed indifference on the other hand. After their virtual marriage He was consistent in describing his ideal girl to be KS one moment but had a change of mind and heart in another occasion and even called her, his small sister which indicated, to most of the Teukso shippers, aloofness to LT.
KS, on the other hand, endured all of these thinking that she went into a relationship with LT unconditionally. She is younger than him by seven years but she was more mature and she should be more understanding, she told herself. However, they reached a stage where they were fighting a lot more than they were during the early stages of their relationship and the media did not spare them either. KS got involved in a scandal with another idol,which was not true at all. LT has allegedly, as the media stated, had a relationship with Taeyon another girl idol and apparently the straw that broke the camel’s back was when the news broke that LT and Jisu were dating after the LT alledgedly choose Jisu to be the one he wants to see before enlisting. To all Teukso shippers, this was heartbreaking news and they cried foul! Everyone knew that KS was LT’s girlfriend, albeit unofficially because there was no formal acknowledgement from either of the two and the news about LT and Jisu made a lot of people who are in the know, angry, confused and sad. During this moment, KS was comforted by her loving fans and close friends. She was so confused and could not get a straight answer from LT. He blamed Tahiti Agency for things getting out of hand saying that all was part of a promotional gimmick but KS refused to believe that it was simply a gimmick and was determined to get to the bottom of it.
As the relationship got strained, KS tried to put everything into the right perspective. She thought long and hard and asked herself if there was still a future in having a relationship with LT. The fact was they were drifting apart already. No matter how hard she tried, case in point, she went to LT’s Gym just to spend quality time with LT but he was always not available, he was either busy with Concerts or busy hanging out with friends instead of spending time with KS. She felt that he was taking her for granted and that it was time to sit down and sort out things if they did still want to be a couple.
KS had been calling LT wanting to meet with him to discuss things but her calls were left unanswered. She had left messages on his voice mail but did not call back either. She had seen LT fan meet vids where promotion of SJ’s album and of course his TV shows. She was not sure if LT really love her it did not make sense at all. What was this guy doing?, she asked herself. Yes, she also got busy filming her drama The Best Lee Soon-Shin and doing a lot of CF’s, an amid relationship challenges she was going through….
One Saturday night as she was about to turn in, her phone rang, finally LT was returning her call. She got excited and realized how much she missed him. By the mere sound of his voice, she felt a light flutter in her heart and how she wished he would come and spend the night together just like before. She missed talking to him, hugging him and just simply sitting by his side was enough to have made her night.
LT, however, exhibited the opposite of what KS felt. He seemed tired and uninterested. KS remembered the reason she wanted to talk to him so she started the conversation.
KS : Thanks for calling Teuk oppa, it seems that you have been very busy lately. How is it going?
LT : I am good! Hey, I am so sorry baby, I have not spoken to you for a while and had not returned your calls, uhm, my schedule is just crazy, crazy busy.
KS : I know, I understand, we know how it is in our business right? So, I have wanted to sort out our status now that there is news that you and Jisu are dating. I was out of the loop and did not know anything about this news, whether this is something that………….(was interrupted by LT).
LT: I have already told you earlier that it is nothing, it will just die a natural death, so just leave it be.
KS : Where does this leave me Teuk Oppa? Have you ever considered my feelings in everything that is going on? Our loyal fans, I know, have been asking why I was not acknowledged as your girl friend and we both know the answer to that, we are both protecting each other for the sake of our careers. Then, this news about you and Jisu dating and apparently Jisu’s respective agency had confirmed it? Apparently, something is really going on between the two of you, I am sensing this through my entire being. Are you attracted to her? Are you two a couple now?
LT : (could not answer, had a long pause on the other end of the line, sighed)…… Look, I really do not have the time for this, I am pressed for time, I need to go back practicing ‘coz our concert to Thailand is near……
KS: No you are not practicing, you are not bailing out on me now and you will answer all my questions!!! All I need to know is the truth and I want it to come from you. I have told you before a number of times that if you reached that point that you no longer have feelings for me, no matter how painful it is, I will accept the truth, I will listen to you but please do not lie, do not take me for granted, bring it on! Be honest and mature enough to tell me the truth, you owe it to me!
LT: Listen, as far as the news about me dating Jisu, it is plain gimmickry.
KS: Okay, granting that that is the case, then why are we drifting apart? Why have we not seen each other for like ages and why are we having this conversation?
LT: Well, my schedule lately has been packed, booked solid so………I am tired, I do not have the energy to get into further discussion about this….I’m going to be enlist soon for God’s sake!!!
KS : I am also tired, physically and emotionally but it seems that our relationship is going nowhere. I wonder if I am even included in your future plans.
LT: What is this? You sound so demanding now! See, for this is the part that is scaring me! I am too young to even think of having future plans with you. I still have a lot of dreams to pursue, lot of things to do, I even have to fulfill my duty in military services!
KS: Teuk Oppa, I think what I am trying to say is that I missed you so much. We have not seen each other nor talked to each other for a long time and this is putting a strain on our relationship. This is how I feel, please do not misunderstand me. However, I have had relationships before and I know when a guy wants out of a relationship. Are we breaking up? Is this what you want? I will make life easier for you, if you do not have the guts to say it to my face, let me ask you the question, do you want to break up with me?
LT : All I know is that I do not want to be in a very rigid relationship. I need to be free to do what I want. The last thing I need is a needy, clingy girlfriend and someone who breaths down my neck!
KS : When you say, free to do what you want without someone breathing down your neck, does it mean calling me only when you want to, even if it takes months to a year? Does it mean getting involved in a dating rumor making people speculate about the truth at my expense as your real girl friend? Did I understand you correctly?
LT : I do not know!!! I am confused! You are confusing me!!!
KS : I am not confusing you Teuk Oppa, just answer the question!!!! The truth will set you free. Why is it so hard for you to answer the question?
LT: please Baby, do not make me choose between my career and you.
KS: No, Oppa, the choices are not between me and your career. I think you love yourself too much that you are not willing to make any sacrifices for the betterment of our relationship.
LT : This is getting too complicated for me, all I want is a peaceful relationship but now you are making it too hard for me.
KS : It is very simple, you may opt to stay or leave. YES or NO! Black or white! Not may be, no gray areas.
LT : Okay, you want the truth; I will give you the truth! As of now, I am having difficulty managing my career and relationship with you. If you choose to play the role of a clingy, needy and demanding girl friend then I want you out of my life!
KS : (KS was sad upon hearing those words from LT, but she was kind of expecting that their conversation will end up like this) Did you mean just what you said Teuk Oppa? Do you see me as a clingy, needy and demanding girl friend as of now?
LT : Yes, if that is what you want to hear then Yes!
KS: (Tears were about to fall down KS’s cheeks and after a long pause and a deep sigh…. Fine, wish granted! I wish you luck in your career and in life. Be happy! Kang Sora pressed the end button on her phone.
It cuts like a knife! This was how KS felt after her conversation with LT. One year of relationship with LT was over just like that. She could not believe what just happened. She had one failed relationships and now the second one is not different at all. What went wrong? She loved LT so much, actually still loves him now albeit she was hesitant of getting into a relationship with him, rejecting him twice initially. She is still young but settling down is part of her short-term plans, hoping that she would end up getting married to LT but unfortunately she is not part of LT’s future plans, that was clearly enunciated in their conversation a while ago. Maybe he fell out of love just like the previous boyfriend she had, she thought. Perhaps LT found someone more interesting and desirable; Jisu would fit the description she shrugged. Well, anyway it has been clearly defined that LT wants her out of his life as he has other priorities and she is not included, so be it, time to move on ?? …
Days passed by and KS buried herself in work and school activities. She wants to do a lot of things simultaneously to numb the feeling of sadness that envelopes her body each day from the time she wakes up in the morning. She is devastated but she needs to get past through this yet another painful experience, once again she is heartbroken. She tells herself not to love again in the near future, she must achieve something in exchange of a love life, and she wants a career aside from acting, directing and scriptwriting. She wants more than what she is known now, she wants to prove to all that she still has hidden talents needing to be tapped. These thoughts prompted her earlier to do what she was supposed to have done months ago. She reached for her phone and dialed the number of the Dean for International Affairs of her School, spoke to the secretary and booked for an appointment in three days.
At the day of her appointment, KS was half an hour earlier but thought that it would be nice to just sit around the nearby student lounge and relax for a bit before her meeting with the Dean. Ten minutes before the appointment time, KS proceeds to the office and meets with the secretary who ushers her to be seated in the waiting area.
Dean: I am ready to meet you, Ms.Kang Sora, come in.
KS: Good morning Dean, how are you today?
Dean: I am good, thanks for asking, so what do I owe the pleasure of your visit today?
KS: I was just wondering if your offer is still good.
Dean: Which offer? The foreign exchange student program where you qualified as the top candidate but turned it down when we offered it to you?
KS: Uhm, yes that one, I thought I would give it a try but then if you found someone else to send then I guess it was not meant for me at all.
Dean: Why the sudden interest Ms.Sora? I got the impression months ago that you were determined to stay put in Korea because of the commitments that you have here.
KS: I thought about it long and hard and I must say that I have reached a crossroad in my life and I am choosing a path that, I believe, would further define my career goals. By studying in The US, I think a lot of learning opportunities will be available to me and I would not like to pass up the chance of acquiring additional skills that would be useful when I come back in Korea to work in my chosen field.
Dean: I just hope that this decision was made out of careful and logical thinking and not because you are highly emotional as of now, you know what I mean.
KS: Yes, I know, and I assure you this decision was not reached because I am angry, frustrated or sad. I am excited to go to US although I know it would be lonely at first but I know I will survive.
Dean: Does your family know about your decision and is it final? You will be away for three or even more than five years.
KS: Yes, my parents know, I have briefed them on the contract terms and conditions. They were kind of hesitant at first but eventually wished me luck. They said they will visit me once in a while if I cannot come home.
Dean: Okay then, since the paper work has been done earlier but was just withheld because of your initial decision, I will resume processing it and coordinate with our school affiliate in US. I recommend that you sort out things with your talent agency, before we finalize everything.
KS: Thank you for giving me another opportunity Dean, I really appreciate it.
Dean: You are welcome, although you earned it.
As Kang Sora left the office, she felt light and happy with her decision. She looks forward to what awaits in US, perhaps a fresh start for a love life but definitely it will be a continuation of her efforts to hone her skills in preparation for a career. Will she be able to find her true love in USA?
This fanfic is written by Fighting Dimple @jerqu of Teukso Soompi thread